The Wounded Masculine

The term masculine I am referring to is the male/sun qualities within each gender. In using it I am not making reference to gender. The masculine qualities are the acting/doing qualities in both men and women. The masculine quality is the seed or idea that is planted in the soil/womb of the feminine. Our masculine quality is our acting out or manifesting ideas in the world that have been created in the feminine. In Jungian psychology, the masculine aspect of the psyche is the animus.

The wounded masculine aspect in our culture and world is evidenced in an abuse of power. It is the male aspect that feels it is not strong enough and so it overcompensates by being aggressive, filled with bravado, and disrespectful of the viewpoint and boundaries of others (think Clinton/Lewinsky). This wounding is evident in both genders. It is the reason that abused women stay in abusive relationships, or that they escape from one abusive relationship just to enter another one.

For example, a woman who has a weak or wounded animus (male aspect of her personality) believes that the masculine has to dominate and insist on its viewpoint. She is attracted to men who support this view of the masculine within themselves. She only attracts men who agree with her existing belief system of the masculine. The same is true of men, they will attract to them women whose masculine wounding is similar to their own.

What is interesting is that the feminine aspect is also wounded and so works together with a wounded masculine to keep a person trapped in a viscous cycle. This is true of both genders and you can observe this in relationships to varying degrees within both men and women.

Look back at the essay on “What is the Wounded Feminine” and you will recall that this way of looking at things, this wounding, was not God’s original plan for us. We chose a path divergent from the one of trust and decided to discover if God’s plan of love was really a good one or not. The plan of love that God originally created involved the Sacred Viewpoint of All. This honors each person’s viewpoint as valid and respects the life path and decisions of each person. When we chose to depart from that plan, it separated us from God (Sin). Redemption gave us access once again to the power to become One with God and One with each other.

In order for us to move beyond the wounded masculine within our psyche, it is important for us to recognize that the problem lies within us. It is by exercising the nurturing feminine principle or going within to discover the truth, that we can identify the problem. It is easy to blame our circumstances or our partner, but in order to really heal; we have to recognize the wounding in our own thinking. We can then use the masculine principle of acting/doing to create a new plan for our lives.

It took me a long time to figure this out in my own life. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t have a healthy relationship no matter how desperately I tried. It was when I realized that I allowed being denied my feelings, submitted to an abuse of power, failed to act in my own behalf, and believed that the masculine aspect was domineering and more powerful, that I discovered the need to develop a healthier concept of the masculine within myself.

This was the first step, using the feminine aspect to nurture and observe what was going on inside of me. The next step was to develop a healthier masculine aspect that would develop my actions and abilities in implementing a better life. I first had to imagine a new way of Being, and then I had to act on that.

The masculine component, when in a healthy condition in the psyche, owns its power, and acts with integrity towards the Self and towards others. It is responsible and honors the Sacred Viewpoint of All. It does not insist on its own way, but neither does it deny its feelings or give away its power without good reason.

Women and men will continue in abusive relationships with one another, until they work on the wounding within themselves. As long as you see the problem as being within someone else, you will stay stuck. It is only by letting go of blame and embracing forgiveness—forgiveness towards yourself and others—that you are free to move forward on the spiritual path. It is only when you will look inward, with honesty, and then create a new plan of action, that you will move past your present frustrations.

Important questions to ask oneself today: What are the wounded male aspects within me?

How well do I honor the Sacred Viewpoint of All and remain in a state of acceptance and non-judgment towards others? Towards myself?

Whom do I need to stop blaming in order to take responsibility for my current situation and come up with a new plan of action?

Whom do I need to forgive in order to move forward?

Walk forth today into a new way of acting/being in the world.