Healing the Wounded Feminine

If you are alive and reading this, then you have been wounded at some point in your life. It is impossible to live on this planet and not experience pain and suffering. What we do with our wounds and pain is another story. There are as many stories about how we are wounded as there are about what we do with our hurts and pain.

What it boils down to is that we are all wounded and we all have a choice what we do with it. When I think of wounding one of the greatest areas that I have experienced and see others experience is wounding of the feminine. There is a lot of talk and dialogue going on in our world right now about the wounded feminine. It has gotten the attention of our world. I think that we have all been wounded on this level.

What that wound looks like in your life might be different from mine. Maybe it is similar and maybe it is not. That’s not really the point. The point is that it shows up in so many forms whether you are male or whether you are female. You can see the wounding of the feminine in the abuse of young males. You can see it in the exploitation of women in our society. You can see it in incest or the taking advantage of the vulnerable.

At its core, the wounding of the feminine is to objectify or turn into an object the sacredness of someone. It is a failure to see someone as an individual as a special soul and to see him or her only as an object to satisfy or gratify the needs of someone else. You can see this in a marriage where a partner is not seen for who they really are but only as an object to meet the needs of the other. You can see this in an abuse of power where the best interest of the person under someone’s care (whether it is for medical, mental, legal, educational, or spiritual care does not matter) is disregarded and the person is used to gratify the needs (usually sexual but sometimes not), of the person with greater power and control. You can see this in our culture where a person is objectified and turned into a sex symbol in order to sell a product. The essence of the person is lost and they are reduced into something to be used.

This is deeply wounding in any form. What is sad is that the wound is then often times acted out onto another person thus creating a cycle of victimization that haunts our culture and society and cripples our world. Healing the wounded feminine is at the core of restoring wholeness not only to myself but also to our world. We have even obscured the feminine attributes of God in the Godhead as if we were ashamed of the feminine in God.

I know in my own life I have gone through the cycle of dishonoring the feminine in myself in numerous ways. It has been reflected at different times in different ways in the way I dress, weight, self-esteem, spiritual closeness or lack to Spirit, and the relationships I surround myself with. One can dress in ways that either objectify one’s self or honor it. You can hide yourself in your clothes in order to obscure the feminine. You can do this in the way you treat your body. You can surround yourself with relationships that devalue who you are and reinforce the notion that the feminine within you is to be used and not honored or to be made invisible and not seen.

The only healing for the wounded feminine is the Spirit working in our hearts, minds, and bodies to restore a sense of value in the feminine. We need a sense that God honors the feminine attributes of God and that they are honored in us. We can no longer see the feminine within us as something to objectify and dishonor, but something that is sacred, beautiful, and contributes to the wholeness of who we are. At its worst, we dishonor the feminine by not having time in our lives to be filled with the Spirit of God.

Healing for myself has meant many things. Education, counseling, numerous life changes and an ever continuing walk with the Spirit as I learn to understand the choices I have made in my life that dishonor the feminine. It is an ongoing process. As my understanding and awareness increases I see the wounds in others more clearly. I understand the abuses better and this enables me to let go of blame and move more completely into forgiveness and healing.

It is a journey worth taking. It requires help along the way. Seek out the help that you need in order to move forward in your life. Whether you are a man or a woman, the abuser or the abused, the victim or the victimizer, the source of the wound is the same and there is a path of healing available. Commit yourself to wholeness and healing. Ask God for clarity on where to go next. We are all on a path that requires faith, trust, hope, and love. God will provide what you need along the way. Our part is to begin.