Creating An Expansive Space--My Story--Part Four

One of the key things for me in creating a better space was to figure out what I really wanted. There is an exercise in a book I was reading at the time, Wishcraft, by Barbara Sher, that had you visualize or fantasize your ideal day, down to the smallest detail. In this exercise you were to ignore any limitations that might be probable, like money, location, relationships, work, etc. The point was to dream as big as you possibly could and to then write down everything.

The second part was to go back and first eliminate things that you really didn't have to have to be truly, blissfully happy. (Maybe you could do without that exotic giraffe in your yard after all and still enjoy life!) After that you culled the list down one more time, but leaving everything that you felt created a nurturing, beautiful, exciting space.

One of the most helpful steps was to then go through your ideal day and see what you could make happen today. In my case, taking a luxurious bath was on the list. Since I had a bathtub at the time, it was just a matter of becoming mindful of rituals that I could participate in immediately that would help to lead me into my ideal life. (This is a really important piece of creating change. What can you do today? It demonstrates to the universe and yourself that you are serious!)

Most of my current life was far from what I wanted. But from that exercise I was able to make a list of things that were vitally important to me. Some of the things on it were to finish my education, have a healthy relationship, eventually own my own home again, engage in activities that I found fun and stimulating, and be involved in a life work that had meaning and gave me joy.

It hasn't been a short journey to where I am now. I kissed a few more frogs along the way. Moved several times. Spent five years in school with three small children, went bankrupt, and spent several years in unfulfilling jobs. It wasn't exactly instant manifestation! But I was a long ways from where I wanted to be. The key was to believe in my own dreams and happiness and to make a change of course when it became clear I had entered a dead end.

The most precious thing that I now have is to share a wonderful relationship with my husband. The other thing is to have found my own voice and soul. There are many other things in my life that were on my list, some of them material, but the most valuable things are not things at all. The most exciting parts are just starting to unfold. Doing some spiritual growth counseling and developing our ministry using our remodeled home in town, The Tree of Life Center, is another budding possibility.

In retrospect, it is all of the irritants, all the things that seemingly went wrong, all of the so-called dead ends that have given me the tools and understanding to do what I was really born to do. Finding my way through a tangle of frustrating circumstances and challenges has given me the tools to know how to find my way home. Your soul is your own beautiful home and being in touch with it is really the only way to discover what you really want.

Sometimes it takes you places you think you would rather not go, but I found if I could gather the lessons from each experience, it always took me to the next place and showed me the next step on my journey.


I would highly recommend Barbara Sher's book, Wishcraft, to help anyone seeking practical steps in making big changes.